Thank You
by jagwizkid
Summary: A post Borderline fic...some things need to be clarified.  MattEmily all the way!  Rating is due to one sentence, just to be on the safe side.


Matt Flannery was not a man who dwelt a lot on past circumstances. His mother's death had affected him, but he tried not to dwell on it, until MJ, that is. The crisis with MJ finally made him deal with all those emotions from all those years ago that he had pushed down and built walls around. But this…this was different. He tried to push it down an build those walls to protect himself but it was not being cooperative. So there he sat yet again, covered in a sheen of perspiration as he woke up, startled from another dream. Again, he relived the feel of the cold steel against the back of his neck, the terror he saw in his partner's eyes, and the helplessness that he felt knowing there was nothing he could do to help her. She was his life, but in this moment he could do nothing to save her. In the end, it was her who saved him. He tried not to think of what would have happened if she had not pulled out that cross from her pocket just in time. He cringed as he imagined watching her blood pool in front of him. He quickly wiped his had across his face, this line of thought was getting him no where, but it was not so easy to banish from his mind, so he left his bed intent on yet another beer, hopefully just enough to get him to a dreamless sleep.

Across town a very similar scene was being played out in the home of Emily Lehman, but instead of worrying about going back to sleep, she sat staring out the window at the night worrying about the white elephant that had invaded the room of their relationship. She knew that the elephant couldn't stay, it had to be evicted, but how did it get there in the first place? The stress from Mexico should have brought them together. She had seen the way he looked at her when they were holed up in that shack. She remembered the way he tenderly touched her face while she was crying, the way he tried to soothe her, the spark in his eyes when he said "Me too". She thought back to the relief in his eyes as they were released and allowed a vehicle to get back to the states, the concern in his eyes and determination to get her back to decent medical care. She smiled as she remembered the nervousness as he stood outside the car with her. And then in the middle of the memories, a new awareness struck her...his look when she said "Thanks". He had smiled at her but something was different. He had avoided her gaze right afterward, but when his eyes returned to hers there was an almost sadness in them. She had not replayed that scene in her mind until now. Could that be why he seemed more distant? His response had confused her at first but then they had never been in a situation quite so tense and emotional. Did he expect her to say something? Of course! He had totally expected that moment of revelation, and he had been ready for it, and even disappointed. Thats why he didn't seem to be as close to her. He didn't believe she felt the same!

Throwing on a pair of jeans, a tshirt, and sandals, she grabbed her phone and purse as she headed out the door.

Matt was punching his pillow for the hundredth time when the phone began to ring. He smiled to himself when he saw her name on the caller ID. "Hi" he spoke softly into the phone.

"Hey. I'm glad you're up. Can I come over?" Her soft voice both concerned him and comforted him. The fact that she was calling was good, right? But there was something in her voice that he wasn't so sure he wanted to hear.

He paced his living room for a while, berating himself for acting like a horny kid...this was Emily after all. Exactly the problem. She was his weakness but she had backed down and he just did not know what to do with her anymore? Was it really only sex for her? Sure thats how it started...well, technically, but in the recesses of his heart and soul, Matt knew that it never really was just sex for him. But now that it seems that it was for her, he simply didn't know how to react. Finally he heard her soft knock. Brushing away the questions and doubts, he put on a smile and reached for the door.

"So...is this a booty call?" His soft voice came to her as he opened the door. She tried to match his smile but the tears overflowing her eyes didn't help. His smile quickly faded as he took in her appearance and he quickly wrapped his arms around her, pulling her inside, into his embrace. She clung to him, allowing her tears to fall against his chest attempting to regain her composure as he whispered soothing words of comfort into her ear. Finally pulling from his embrace she softly spoke, "I..uh...I think we need to talk about what happened in Mexico."

She felt him close up and pull away from her at the words. She tried to steel herself enough to meet his eyes, eyes that she knew would be reflective of the pain she was feeling. He kept his eyes on her as she began to speak. "You know, I told you that there was something I wanted to tell you and you said 'me too'?"

"Yeah, uh, 'thanks' I believe it was that you were gonna say. Yeah, Em. I got it. I think I'm pretty clear on that." He said with a bit more bite in his tone than what he had intended.

She watched him walk to the fridge and pull out one of the few beers he had left from earlier. She took a deep breath, she had to get him to understand. "No, Matt, you don't understand."

""Thanks', its one of those basic words everyone learns early in life, it expresses appreciation and while I appreciate the sentiment, I think I have a pretty good grasp of the implication." She felt the tears welling back up in her eyes as he continued. "Glad I could help ya, glad I could give you something to do once in a while."

She reached up and laid one hand against his cheek while the other's forefinger pressed against his lips. "No, no, no..shhhhh, no, Matt"

He looked down at her, her face reddened, her tears leaving trails down her cheek and was overcome with the memory of her in Mexico just before the beginning of this entire messed up conversation. Still, it killed him to see her cry, to see her upset. His hand reached of its own accord and caressed her soft cheek.

"No, Matt. When I said 'thanks' it meant so much more than that. It mean thank you for taking a chance with me, thank you for showing me that its ok to bend the rules once in a while, that a booty call isn't always such a bad thing. It meant thank you for showing me that bullies don't always stay bullies. And most importantly thank you for loving me the way you do...and teaching me to love someone as deeply as I love you. I don't think I conveyed that and I don't think you understood and this distance between us is killing me."

She continued to ramble a little more but Matt heard little after she said that she loved him. Finally she noticed the cock-eyed smile on his face and, a little confused, she looked at him, just noticing the gleam in his eyes that wasn't there when she entered. "What?" She whispered.

"You love me?"

"What? I didn't..." her eyes crinkled a little and she bit her bottom lip as she recalled her revelation in the rant, "Oh." He smiled softly and placed a warm gentle kiss on her lips.

"Its ok," he whispered, looking lovingly into her eyes, "see, I happen to love you too."

He was surprised when yet more tears began to stream down her cheeks. He tried to wipe them away as the smile spread across her face and she wrapped her arms around him, pulling him against her. They continued like that for a while, holding and kissing, each enjoying the comfort of the other that had been missing. Finally she looked up at him, "so, we're good? We're on the same page?"

"Yeah, we're good," he confirmed, kissing her brow, then her cheek, and finally her lips.

"Good," she whispered against his lips, "now, about that booty call."

He pulled back enough to see the gleam in her eye and the smile on her lips. Oh, how he loved that smile! He gathered her against him, kissing her soundly. He gently picked her up and she wrapped her legs around them, both moaning at the intimate contact and carried her into his bedroom where he planned to show her exactly how much he'd missed her and how much he loved her.

_This is my first ever Standoff fic so be gentle! LOL! I enjoyed writing it. Hope you enjoy reading it!_


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